The difference between hearing and listening
Ever wondered what the difference between ‘hearing’ and ‘listening’ is? Even though these terms sound very similar in the meaning that they seem to be conveying, the exact meaning is subtlely difference. While hearing, all that one does is passively let a sound – unintelligible as it might be, fall on your ears without taking the effort to understand what it might mean; listening on the other hand is the act of actively making an effort to comprehend what the voice you are hearing is trying to communicate to you and react to it in a streamlined and concerted manner.
Having seen how these two terms can mean different things altogether, it would help to take a look at a few situations where the exact implication of these two terms can be seen. Consider an attempt to give directions to a visitor to your reach home. Given the fact that you know exactly where your house is located, you tend to know the way home like the back of your hand, chances that you take for granted that the visitor who is unfamiliar with the locality will also find it almost as easy are very high. In this preconceived notion, we tend to give extremely vague directions and mention ‘landmarks’ which would be passed off as just another building by the visitor who is new to this area. In this situation, there is a huge chance that the visitor who makes repeated attempts to extract further details about the exact location will come to the conclusion that the person at the other end of the line is ‘simply not listening’, though fact might be far from this.
This can be the case with several other relationships too, for that matter any relationship where a lot of interaction comes in automatically. Take the case of partners, or an entire family or even colleagues at work. Effective communication in relationships is critical. The absence of active listening can be the cause for a lot of unpleasantness since this is the very basis of effective communication. As for the reason why this happens, a preconceived idea of how the other person might be feeling or thinking is the biggest culprit.
It is perfectly understandable that the mind tends to wander, especially when the person who is trying to communicate with is conversing on topics that don’t excite you. In such situations, it helps to take to tactics like looking the person you are listening to in the eye. It helps stop your attention from shifting from the topic of conversation and enable better listening rather than hearing. It helps to give the other person the impression that you care and the best way to do this is to listen.